One day last week, I had a friend over for a little bit. We were sitting in my room looking at some drawings she had done, (they were pretty nice! :)) when Mom called us out into the dining room.

She asked us how far we thought a person should go to help other people. She told us that there was no right or wrong answer, and she wanted us to think about it. Abigail told my Mom that she had just inspired a poem, and she would be sure to think about it.

I did not think about Abigail’s poem until the next day, when I received this:

“How Far” by Abigail S.

 

How far should one go?

How much should one give?

How long should one try,

While we still live?

 

How far should one go,

To meet other’s needs?

To comfort and care,

For each heart that still bleeds?

 

How much should one give,

To a world torn apart?

Where love has been lost,

To the Shadows of the Dark?

 

How long should one try,

To live for one Cause?

A City on a Hill,

A Light for the lost?

 

While we still live,

What ages we be,

We should all care,

And love never leave.

 

Go as far as you can,

Give of your best,

Try very long,

And others you’ll bless.

As I was thinking about it after reading her poem, I realized you have to be careful when you are helping people. You should help people. I know that; but you can also help too much. Because if you go too far and push too hard when you are trying to help, instead you can hurt.

I struggle with this. I love helping my friends and I hate feeling helpless when they are going through something hard. I think that is one of the reasons the tornado hurt me so much. My friends were hurting, and I could not help them. There was nothing I could do. Because, number one, there was nothing I could physically do. But number two, I did not want to say the wrong things. People have said the wrong things to me before, and I know how much it hurts. My friends were already hurting enough, they did not need me saying the wrong things!

But it hurt. It hurt me a lot, watching one of my good friends deal with her house being a hole in the ground, with all of her possessions except for the clothes on her back disappearing. It hurt me emotionally.  It hurt her physically and emotionally. When she came over to my house the day after the tornadoes, I could see that she was hurting.  Yet I felt helpless. I just kept talking, probing, trying to help her and not do anymore damage. I kept asking her if she was ok, staring at her, or asking her, “Really??” at times. I did not think it would help much, but it was the best I could do.

Two weeks later, I got a letter from her. She told me that I had helped her process the way she was feeling. She said that while all of her other friends joked about what had happened, and tried to make her feel better that way, with my probing and pushing her I had helped her more than her other friends. That made me feel good. I had helped my friend, when she needed help. I had made something a bit easier for her, and that was worth every bit of helplessness I had felt.

I am still processing what happened with the tornadoes. I don’t really have nightmares anymore, like I did when I wrote this post. I still have to see friends who were impacted by it almost daily, and I still feel helpless when they describe what they are (still) dealing with. But little by little, it is getting better.

Right now, I have another friend that I am helping get through some hard times. I will probably never know if anything I am doing is helping, but I think I am helping, and that makes me feel better. With God’s help, I might actually make her feel better! How awesome would that be? 😀

Brett