To read part two of day seven, click here.

Jen narrowed her eyes.

“Why don’t you want to go? I know you’re scared, but everyone is supposed to do this. Making ______ stay behind is supposed to be a punishment, and if you are with him/her it won’t really be.”

I nodded, looking down at the ground.

“But, I will talk to the other instructors about it. They will probably say you need to come on the river with us, so get ready like you are going to.”

She turned and walked away, and I walked over to my crew. I sat down until they were done with the canoes. By the time I got over there they had already done the lowest canoes, and I just got in the way if I tried to help with the ones up high.

Once the canoes were out of the way, I got up and found my paddle, lifejacket, helmet, booties, and windbreaker. I put it all in a pile near the bench I was sitting on, hoping I wouldn’t have to use it. I told God that if he wanted me to do this, to make me do this, but if I could, I’d really like to stay behind.

I don’t think I have ever been so scared. It was awful. I knew that I shouldn’t be acting the way that I was, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I tried praying, but it didn’t help.

Jen came over to me, and the moment I saw her face I knew I was going on the river.

“Brett, the other instructors and I talked about it, and we are going to put you in a canoe with Bobby. Is that ok?”

I nodded my head. Bobby would take care of me like Bruce had, and hopefully we wouldn’t flip!

Click here to read the next part of Day Seven.

*Everything here is from my own memory and may not be correct. Outward Bound is not responsible for anything I post here. Thanks too NCOBS for letting me use their photos.*